Out of all the things that have been written about, the last thing we need is someone writing on love right? Same with the last thing needed on earth is excessive humans who live and breathe day in and day out. So let’s give this blog a chance too.
The modern people sharing posts all over social media who say that never settle for a man who is less than you deserve, do not do this until he does that – are selling narcissism not love.
I read this beautiful post by Thich Nhat Hanh and he goes into the real beauty and essence of the emotion of love. He says that love is about understanding the other person completely and feeling his pain and suffering as yours.
I am not at the level where he is talking about, because I believe that to love someone else completely and to understand the other completely, first you must have a complete understanding of the person you are and love yourself. Because you cannot pour out of an empty container and you cannot give something you do not have.
We say we love the flower, but the truth is, that we find the flower beautiful and we want to possess it – by this I mean to keep this in the close proximity to ourselves. So we pluck out the flower, which is actually the death of that flower.
Same with people like me who claim to be dog lovers. We love dogs because a dog is one of the creatures who can love unconditionally and more importantly EXPRESS that love. So we love dogs because we know that the dog will love us way more than we can ever expect from average humans or other animals.
The problem with this modern emotion which we claim to be love is that – we believe we love the other person. But the truth is because he fills up something in us – whether it is our need to be desired, or wanted, or loved, or being given attention to. It is conditional. It is a transaction. And more importantly, it is not love. We will slowly get addicted to the person because of the action we are getting from him, and in the process destroy ourselves and the other person.
That is why our relationships end up tragically, because neither do we want to understand what love is nor do we want to sacrifice for the other, like people in the olden days would.
The solution could be to start knowing – really understanding and loving yourself so well that you have nothing except for love to give out.